Every June, people and organizations start splashing rainbows on their social media feeds. And while this can be a good thing — absolutely let your LGBTQ+ friends and followers know that you’re a safe person! — it can often be nothing more than performative allyship.
What is performative allyship? Performative allyship, or performative activism, can be defined as expressing support for a marginalized group without actually doing the work of true allyship. Being a true ally requires action, whether that’s in the form of donating to worthy organizations, showing up at a rally, or calling out a colleague for making racist or homophobic jokes. True allyship means using your privilege to advocate for a marginalized group. Not only does performative allyship center the actions of the non-marginalized person (those making the posts are often praised for “speaking truth” or “being brave”), performative allyship can actually be harmful. As Holiday Phillips wrote last year, “People have been hashtagging #blacklivesmatter for eight years, and young black men are being killed in the street for jogging.”
People have been hashtagging #blacklivesmatter for eight years, and young black men are being killed in the street for jogging. Holiday Phillips
The term performative allyship increased in popularity in 2020 after the killing of George Floyd. It’s most often used in connection with racism and the Black Lives Matter movement, but it can apply to showing superficial support to any marginalized group. And because it’s Pride Month, we’re going to look at some ways you can trade performative allyship and be a better ally to LGBTQ+ folks.
Stop equating social media posts with action
Empty social media posts are the heart of performative allyship. On June 2, 2020, an estimated 28 million Instagram users posted a black square in support of Blackout Tuesday, a collective action to protest racism and police brutality. But only 13 million people signed the petition to arrest the police offers who were involved in the murder of George Floyd.
A hashtag isn’t activism. If you’re posting #sayhisname or #loveislove, but not taking the (very, very easy) step of adding your name to a petition or contacting your elected officials in support of anti-discrimination legislation, are you really helping your LGBTQ+ friends?
What to do instead
Use your platform to amplify the voices of people who are really doing the hard work. Perform an act of allyship and don’t tell anyone about it. Be an ally even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient for you. Still boycotting Chick-fil-A? Great. You might also want to add Taco Bell, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Dick’s Sporting Goods to that list. Or as a friend of mine suggested on Facebook, talk to the person in your office who continues to order Chick-fil-A for company lunches. Ask if your company has official non-discrimation policies and medical benefits for same-sex domestic partnerships. Look for other ways you can leverage your privilege — and don’t post about it on social media. (But by all means, continue to post links to any petitions or other helpful action items. Visit The Center for some ways you can take real action.)
Stop saying you’re shocked by stories of hate and discrimination
After the last four years, we shouldn’t be shocked by anyone’s hateful or discriminatory behavior. You may be tempted to say you’re shocked by hateful actions because you find them appalling and unacceptable, and they are. But at this point, they are not shocking. They are everyday occurrences for many people. Using this sort of language doesn’t show solidarity, only ignorance. By saying you’re shocked, you’re telling your LGBTQ+ friends that you haven’t been paying attention to things that don’t affect you directly.
What to do instead
Continued self-education is central to true allyship. Make an effort to learn about the lived experiences of people whose lives are different from yours, whether it’s the history of racism in America or the state of the LBGTQ community in 2020. Do not ask people from marginalized communities to educate you. This is asking them to engage in additional emotional labor for your benefit. Google is your friend.
