God be in my head — and in my understanding
God be in my eyes — and in my looking
God be in my mouth — and in my speaking
God be in my heart — and in my thinking
God be at my end — and in my departing. (Repeat 10X)
Every time I see this painting, I wonder what must have gone on in Jesus’ head. Alone. He must have felt so alone. Pilate’s damning gesture, his arm outstretched towards one who stood blameless. And yet Jesus bore the iniquity of us all in that moment, frozen in time for us by this master of the canvas, Antonio Ciseri.
Except God was with Jesus, and he had the spiritual strength for that to be enough. And this Sarum prayer instills in us that longing for God to be with us as we prepare to depart this mortal coil. Along with Pastor Ken, I suggest his departing was not an end, like punctuation marks — a period or exclamation point. Jesus’ end was but a comma, calling our attention to that which was about to come, the resurrection. It’s a comma for us all …
MLK’s end and his departing
On Martin Luther King, Jr. federal holiday, I often listen to MLK’s last speech/homily as he addressed the sanitation workers in Memphis, TN, on the eve of his own execution. He knew he was at his end. He knew, and he faced it with a kind of dignity and grace that surely God inspired his words and courage. MLK said,
Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop. And I don’t mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life; longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land (78-79).
I’ve heard that speech countless times, and it doesn’t matter whether it is just the audio or video and audio. But I get goosebumps. That speech is like nothing else, because he knew he was at his end. And like Moses, he did not see the full unfolding of the story of his people, but he met his end and his departing full of grace and with hospitality, inviting us to be with him at the mountaintop.
America has a cultural aversion to death and dying
American culture avoids death like the plague. Yet the video games kids play glorify violence and murder. We don’t like to talk about death. Excepting Jewish tradition and others with proscribed mourning periods, our funeral rituals last less than a week from the time of death. It feels to me like death is swept under the rug even though it is as natural as our birth. Let’s face it. Death is inevitable. How we meet death is in our hands, and the Rev. Ken Wilson rightly proposes that we meet death with open hands (77).
From Compline: Lord, grant us a peaceful night and a perfect end
My favorite prayer of the Daily Office in the Episcopal Church is Compline, our bedtime prayer. It’s the shortest, and is known as “the dear little office.”
The first line is, “The Lord Almighty grant us a peaceful night and a perfect end (BCP 127). We ask God to protect us in our vulnerable state of rest.
O God, make speed to save us.
O Lord, make haste to help us.
One of several Psalms is chosen (4, 31, 91, 134). I especially love Psalm 31 for its understanding of God’s strength.
3) Be my strong rock, a castle to keep me safe,
For you are my crag and my stronghold;
For the sake of your Name, lead me and guide me…
5) Into your hands I commend my spirit…
During Compline, I always say this optional prayer
Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. Amen (BCP 134).
I’ve prayed this prayer for a long, long time because I simply love it. It speaks to and for my heart. Its alliteration and poetic cadence make it a true comfort to pray and say. It concludes by recognizing that all of these requests for people in various stations in life are made in the name of God’s love for us.
And, this powerful, short prayer epitomizes the last line of the Sarum prayer, God be at my end — and in my departing.
The office closes with another comforting antiphon,
Guide us waking, O Lord, and guard us sleeping; that awake we may watch with Christ, and asleep we may rest in peace (BCP 135).
Compline does not shy away from the fact that we are mortal, that we need protection from our “adversary, the devil, that prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (BCP 132). We need for God’s angels to have charge over us, and we need a blessing as we die.
Digging for the truth
In some monastic traditions, a monk will remove a shovel-full of dirt from the place that will someday be his grave, his final resting place on earth. It’s a daily reckoning with the inevitability of our demise, and it is beautiful as an expression of our humility for being granted this life.
We’ve not finished our exploration of the Rev. Ken Wilson’s wonderful book, God be in my Head: the Sarum Prayer. I hope our search for meaning in this simple prayer-poem has uncovered some spiritual gems for you.
Next week I will explore the Triduum in my blog — the three days before Resurrection Sunday: Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and The Great Vigil of Easter (Holy Saturday). We will journey with Jesus through these miraculous days as he moves from Jesus of Nazareth to Christus Rex.
Until then,
Blessings on your Lenten journey.+
