Sometimes we need a time out, I know I have over the last few weeks, and in honor of the upcoming Mental Health Month in May, I offer these thoughts on having doubts.
Brave Simone Biles
I’m reminded of multi-gold medal winning Olympian, Simone Biles. She declined to compete during the recent games citing doubt and concern for her safety. Her confidence plummeted, and she feared hurting herself on the various gymnastic apparati. You couldn’t get me near a balance beam on the best day of my life!
My point is that sometimes our doubts and mental space require us to carve out some down time. Ms. Biles appeared recently on TV ads during the NCAA’s basketball championships (known as March Madness) for women and men. During these ads, Biles stated, “A pause is power.” She summed it up.
Sometimes we need a break whether others agree with us or not.7:01I loved her bravery in appearing in these ads despite her detractors. She took a great deal of flak from her critics for recusing herself from the games. Biles provided an important life lesson for all of us. Sometimes we need to know our limits…to take a pause when our well-being is at stake.
Our doubts deserve to be addressed, and for Christians, there is no better example than St. Thomas from the Gospel of John. The gospel reading for the second Sunday of Easter is always the storing of the “Doubting Thomas.” Some disciples had seen the risen Jesus, but Thomas was not at that gathering. Upon hearing this story later, Thomas proclaimed he would not believe in the risen Lord until he laid his hands in Jesus’ wounds he suffered during his crucifixion.
St. Thomas, the “Doubter”
So I offer my sermon about Doubting Thomas. As a defense attorney for many years, I naturally rise to the challenge of defending the “human” Thomas. It is no accident that Thomas’ story is so important to the Christian heritage. We all have doubts, sometimes those doubts save our lives or protect us from other kinds of harm.
Thomas had an especially big doubt early in the early church, but it was understandable. We owe it to Jesus, to Thomas, and to ourselves to recognize that doubt is a part of life, even for an apostle!
Easter 2, John 20:24-29
The 2nd Sunday of Easter always features the story of how some disciples saw the resurrected Jesus, but Thomas wasn’t there. Thomas said he’d have to place his hands in the wounds of Christ from the cross to believe in the resurrected Lord.
Read my sermon when I, as a criminal defense attorney, defend Thomas and his doubts. I offer this sermon in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, which occurs in May.
Calling the case of The One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church vs. Thomas the Twin, called Didymus, #0033-AD. The charge is “Misfeasance against the Crown, being Our Lord Jesus Christ.” The congregation will be Thomas’ jury. As Thomas’ attorney I have just read us the report from John into the record here today. Did we actually hear that Thomas did anything wrong? No. In fact, I submit, he was completely justified in his actions. Here is then, the closing argument on his behalf.
When Jesus first appeared to the disciples without Thomas, Jesus, the gateway to salvation, we learn that he cannot be barred by locks and doors. And, Jesus shares four things with them that he does not initially share with Thomas: 1) His peace that passes all understanding; 2) He gives them a mission to evangelize; 3) He gives them the Holy Spirit; and 4) He gives them the power of absolution—to forgive sins or to elect not to forgive sins.
At this time Jesus finds the disciples afraid and unsure, in other words they are not acting like they now live in a permanent, post-resurrection Easter. Instead, they are hunkered down and afraid of the Jewish leaders who successfully had Jesus executed. They are not afraid of all Jews, after all, they themselves are also Jewish. However, the followers do not understand that they are living as if they are on the wrong side of Easter.
A week later, the disciples tell Thomas that they have seen the Lord. They probably still seem very unsure although Jesus ate with them, and they were first-hand witnesses to the living Christ. And, per Jewish law, they have several more witnesses than two or three, a significant piece of evidence in the Jewish court.
So, Thomas has not had any of the benefits of Jesus’ appearance or teaching. The information from the disciples to Thomas is second-hand now, and there is no instant replay available. There’s no digital cameras or camcorders, no audio recording. There is just what they say heard and saw in real-time without slow-motion enhancement. And in this Gospel of John, seeing and believing are paramount to be Christian disciples.
Understandably then, Thomas announces that he needs some first-hand evidence. And complying, Jesus once again passes through the walls and locked doors and appears. Now think about Jesus–who had two good reasons to get upset. First, the disciples were still hunkered down and afraid and had not taken up the call to spread the Good News. They were just as petrified as they were the previous week. Does Jesus scold or say, “Hey, what do I have to do in addition to being crucified and resurrected to get you all moving?” Were they not acting after seeing because they were the real doubters? If so, what is the implication for Thomas? Acquittal.
Second, Jesus could have gotten into it with Thomas for doubting, but he doesn’t. Jesus knows that he must find Thomas, indeed, all of us, wherever we are along the faith journey to minister to us. And, Jesus is willing to do this over and over. Instead of objecting, Jesus once again offers himself, his very body, first to the very nail wounds themselves, and then again he offers his now-other-worldly wounded hands, along with a loving embrace, open to receive Thomas’ inquiry. Jesus elects not to judge, but to save him.
Plus, Jesus never dubs Thomas as Doubting Thomas. Jesus says in the Greek, “Stop unbelieving and believe.” Jesus doesn’t actually say doubt. This nickname, “Doubting Thomas,” was given to Thomas by the early church. Unfortunately, this one interpretation has stuck to Thomas like glue, and it is an unjust assessment.
We can learn much more by examining the evidence, by seeing and believing with fresh eyes and open hearts, and by acting on that new understanding.
We are not even told that Thomas actually placed his fingers in the wounds of Christ. I am willing to bet he did not touch Jesus’ wounds. But what did he do, according to this record, that none of the other disciples did? He got on his knees and declared, “My Lord, and My God.” He recognizes in Jesus his humanity and his divinity upon sight of those marks of death on the living Christ. He equates Jesus with God for us. He sees and believes.
Thomas gave Jesus the important opportunity to draw the direct connection between his human wounds of the cross and his divinely risen self. What lesson does this encounter between Jesus and Thomas teach us? It teaches us that when God comes, we will recognize when God’s peace is offered, even in those moments when our hearts break or when brutal violence takes our breath away. We learn that God will infuse us with the Holy Spirit. In the midst of embracing this reality, we once again are reminded that we are not alone, in fact, we have already been found, right where we are.
In fact, this is really a story about Jesus more than about Thomas. Jesus brings grace by not making the disciples feel bad about their fear, unbelief, and inaction, and in responding to Thomas by going with him to where he actually was physically, spiritually, and emotionally. And, Jesus does so with us infinitely.
I submit to you that Thomas wanted very much to believe and needed what the others’ had experienced. Thomas just wanted to see Jesus whom he loved and missed, our Jesus, who was cruelly tortured and executed. Thomas missed Jesus deeply
Thomas, too, represents all of us. We call him Doubting Thomas because we fear it reflects our own doubts, doubts that are difficult for us to admit. Over the centuries we have transferred that doubt, that negative connotation onto Thomas. In truth, we often are worried that maybe we won’t recognize Jesus, even when he is two inches from our face.
We need Thomas to ask those questions on our behalf. The Johannine community lived about 75 years after the resurrection of Jesus in 100 A.D. They needed to ask those questions too. They were having a very rough time, and this gospel had a special function to encourage, to exhort this new faith, and its followers of Jesus, because it was a very dangerous business to be a Christian when the Gospel of John was written.
John was written at a time when most of the first-hand witnesses had died, and there needed to be an encouraging word to the second and third generation Christians who had not seen but did believe. We are included in this category, too, even 2000 years later. We rely on the story being told and passed on to us for over 20 centuries, in order to continue in the breaking of the bread, the keeping of the feast. And, we will pass it on until the Reign of God arrives.
A common defense tactic is to accuse someone else not standing trial to create reasonable doubt, and I moved in that direction when I suggested the disciples were the doubters. But in conclusion, I submit, that we owe our apostolic predecessors, including Thomas, the same grace and forgiveness offered by our Savior because Jesus can handle our fear, and our sin. For there truly is wonder and acquittal in those wounds.
…Oh yes, and in honor of St. Thomas. I have a special admiration and affinity for St. Thomas because I was ordained a priest on his feast day.
Peace and blessings on your journey, especially when you have doubts!
